5 ways to add SPARKLE to your life

Why SPARKLE? It's better than the alternative, that’s why.

The alternative is living a dull life. A life focused in the negative, in the cynical and the boring. Yeah, that sounds delightful doesn’t it? No. No it doesn’t.

SPARKLE isn’t living with a case of ABD (Attention Bling Disorder) SPARKLE stands for something. It stands for Showing People Authentic Respect Kindness & Love Everyday.

It invites positive energy into your world. When you are doing your best to make sure you are sending that good into the world you will bring it back without really trying.

Does it mean that you are happy in every moment? Not really.

Does it mean you LOVE everyone? Nope. But it means that the ones you do love, you do it right and you do it honestly. 

For the ones you don’t, you don’t give them your energy at all.

Everyday, you make choices that empower you. It is a power you hold.

Here are 5 simple ways to be sure your SPARKLE continues to grow inside of you and with that, is captured by others each and every day. 

1) Go out of your way to be kind to someone. A simple smile to someone. It doesn’t have to be someone who looks like they need it either. Someone in a 3 peice suit, that appears to have it all figured out is just as likely to need a word of praise, a gesture of sincerity as someone who needs a hand up in the world. Don’t only look through the eyes that society gave you. Clear your vision and be open to being kind to everyone. 

2) Go out of your way to be kind to yourself. You probably find it very easy to pay someone else a compliment however if someone pays one to you, do you blow it off? Even belittle what they have said to bring you up? That isn’t honouring the person that was showing you respect and paying you a compliment in the first place. Allow yourself to take in their words with grace. In fact, honour yourself and each day rejoice in something wonderful about you. That, my friend, is not conceit.

What it is, is self love. Practice it and self respect. It honours the one person who is there to love you till your dying day. YOU.

 3) LOVE LIFE. Each day is full of moments that you should treasure. We often have so many of them that we let them pass without notice and then...something so small and insignificant happens, yet it is negative and we allow that one moment to throw all of the beauty away. What a rip off! We wake up...Beautiful moment number one. We take a deep breath...beautiful moment number two. We are graced with people who love us...beautiful moment number three. Keep going. The coffee spilled...ARGH! There goes every beautiful moment. Why do we do that to ourselves? From now on. Don’t. Is it really that easy? Yes. In fact it is. It is a choice. You can choose the beautiful moments.

4) Ask yourself...”Is this really about me?” Before you get angry, upset or frustrated with something or someone, remove yourself from the situation and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself. “Is this about me?” “Would this situation be the same without me in it?” “Am I truly affected by it except for the emotion it is stirring in me?” Drama happens because we allow it to. It never occurs on its own. We take on battles in our lives far too many times that have absolutely nothing to do with us and the best thing we can do about that is to STOP! Do not be a drama llama. Do not invite it into your world and remember. Not everything is about you and that is OK. The freedom you will feel when you adopt this into your life will amaze you and your SPARKLE will freak you out!

5) Look at the positive side of life. Instead of looking for the doom and the gloom. Look for the bright and the light. There is good. There is SPARKLE everywhere; you simply have to choose to see it. It is not being ignorant to the fact that there is evil in the world but paying attention to it gives it power. So that being said, when you pay attention to the good in the world...you give THAT more power.

Imagine if we had more people in the world doing just that. How beautiful would our world be? How fantastic would this Universe look? How much SPARKLE would abound? Be a part of the light not the darkness. You will feel it in your heart and your soul. MAGIC happens there.

SPARKLE on.
SherryLynn



Return to You Are FIERCE

what’s one dumb thing that you used to believe in?

So, Danielle LaPorte posts these "Burning Questions" on her blog (genius play on the White Hot Truth thing!) and since she asked "What's one dumb thing that you used to believe in?" I had to answer...

I used to believe that I needed to suffer in order to be safe. 

This all stems from the shit I went through growing up in an extremely abusive home but I remember clearly being 15 years old and getting on the ETS at 6:50 a.m. to catch my bus to school. It was the day after my birthday and my mom had surprised me with tickets the night before to a gala featuring Edmonton Oilers' hottie Craig Simpson . The tickets were $50 each and that was a lot of money for my mom to spend. It was a fancy night out and I even got to meet my crush, Craig Simpson who graciously posed for a picture with me, even putting his arm around me (I totally thought I was gonna DIE!!!).

Yup, that's me and ex-Edmonton Oiler Craig Simposon.
I totally thought I was going to marry him! HA! 

Anyway, I got on the bus, eyes half closed with sleep and accidentally kicked the crutches of a severely disabled kid who took the bus. I was horrified, so embarrassed and didn't know what to do. I crouched in the corner of a bus seat, hiding in shame and really did want to die, I felt so bad. 

The thing is, I didn't do what I knew I should have done. I didn't pick up the crutches, I just hid on the bus seat. Another passenger picked them up and berated me for being so ignorant. 

In my mind, I told myself I deserved to be punished. 

That night, I got home and suffered one of the worst beatings I had ever taken from my stepdad. His excuse was he had found a phone number from a boy and if I was going to act like a slut, I deserved to be treated like one. 

I told myself I deserved it because of what happened on the bus. It was my fault. 

Karma was paying me back for being so thoughtless. 

That was 22 years ago and I still remember that night as clear as I remember kissing my husband goodbye for work this morning. 

After that night, I believed that for every good thing in my life, I deserved to be punished severely. And for years after, I attracted that kind of negative energy and sadness into my life all because I was a scared, 15-year-old girl who made a stupid mistake and didn't know any better. 

I no longer believe that I can't be happy without sacrificing something every damn time I choose to be happy. But there are times when that sad little girl looks back at me in the mirror and I have to tell her that it's OK to be happy, that she no longer has to worry about paying for happiness with her soul. 

I have to tell her that she is FIERCE.

And that, Danielle, is my one dumb thing.

t.

Return to You Are FIERCE

17 Things You Didn't Know About Danielle LaPorte

It's no secret I love, love, LOVE Danielle Laporte and so I was excited to get this little gem from her opening up and sharing tidbits of personal information. I always find it interesting when someone who is seen as an expert makes themselves a little vulnerable by showcasing themselves as more human than expert so I enjoyed reading this but have determined that Danielle and I would probably never drink together.

from Danielle LaPorte on Whitehottruth.com (her words in bold, mine responses in italics)

1. I think karma is malleable. You can change it. The universe is not tit for tat and God is not keeping score. At least not like that. <--- not gonna lie, I had to look up the word "malleable"

2. I once believed that I was destined to marry Steve Winwood. I was wildly convinced that he was The One for me and shamelessly told everyone we were getting married. <---- I had to look up Steve Winwood, too 

3. Speaking of hot men, I think Michael Franti's Love Kamikaze - The lost singles & remix (only available on special import CD) is the sexiest sexy stuff ever laid down on disc.<--- Starting to think Danielle and I have nothing in common

4. I've had angelic experiences. <---- HAZZAH! We have something in common!


5. I don't eat mushrooms, onions, or tofu. I'm allergic to lilies and codine. (That's 5 things.)

6. I've never had a cup of coffee. Not even a sip. <--- I'm beginning to think her and I will never be friends 

7. I think too many people marry the wrong people. And...I think too many people get divorced too soon. <---- Can I get a HELL YA for this one

8. I have extreme judgement for parents who put their kids on leashes (like you see at malls.) It's lazy and it's mean. <---- I think parenting has become a religion... that's a blog in the works.

9. Being called Missy, Girl, Maam, or M'Dear is very difficult for me <---- Ooooh me too. Sweetie, dear and honey are right up there with, "Girl, I will smack you if you call me that again.".

10. I don't mind paying taxes. <--- I don't mind paying taxes either... on my wine!

11. My favourite movie of all time is The Piano. BTW, what you don't see at the end of this clip -- is that she frees herself and lives. <--- I've never seen this flick, looks too deep for my shallow brain

12. I think long marriage engagements are a cop out. Things do change when you makes vows. <--- My opinion of marriage has evolved over the last 13 years... so...

13. I feel like I'm in a constant state of prayer. <---- See how Zen she is?? I feel like I'm in a balanced state of FIERCE chaos

14. I am an obsessive recycler. If the hotel I'm staying in doesn't recycle, I'll bring the plastic bottles home with me in my suitcase.<--- I recycle my wine bottles. Annnnd I'm going to environmental hell.


15. Last year, I burned all of my journals (starting from age 13), except my Moleskine notebooks from the last two years because they contain outlines for my next five books. However, I did go through those notebooks and tear out (and burn) all entries of painful happenings.<---- That is therapeutic! But I couldn't do that. It would be like erasing my experiences.

16. I am perpetually torn about being nocturnal and wanting to convert into a morning person. I'm thinking of getting up at 4am. It'd be both super late, and super early. <---- I am perpetually inappropriate, er, I mean, the older I get, the earlier I get up. Pretty soon my morning will be starting at midnight

17. I want to learn a lot more about crystals, olives, sound recording, and mystic nuns. <---- Hmmm... I like olives in my martini. Does that count?


Chances Danielle and I will ever be BFFs. Zero. Getting to meet her irl more than once. Priceless. I'll take what I can get.

Return to You Are FIERCE

In Her Own Words: Shandra Carlson

2011 Phenomenal Female of the Year Shandra Carlson

In 2001 my second baby Mitchell, was born with a Wilm’s Tumour,a childhood cancer usually found in 4-7 year olds, which is a tumour attached to the kidney. Six days before his first Christmas, he had surgery to remove the tumour,and the day after Christmas had another surgery to insert a port to deliver chemo into his body for the next 6 months.

I remember thinking as I drove to and from the hospital over those months, “I had no idea the lives that are impacted here on a daily basis, or how huge this place actually is.” At the end of his treatment and at the ripe old age of 18 months, he was declared cured and cancer free, but will go for annual checkups until he is 21.

Forward a few years and a third baby in tow, I was back to work and experiencing excruciating migraines. After being prescribed a ‘break through’ pain medication, I accidentally double dosed and had a seizure at work. Eight hours in the ER determined that although it was brought on by the medication, I had a benign tumour behind my right eye, larger than my eyeball itself. According to my surgeon, a few months later and I would have been blind in that eye.

Thirty days after that 5.5 hour major surgery, I moved to a new city as a single parent, a new job, knowing only a hand full of people, with no family nearby. Processing the emotions of 3 children going through the separation from their dad and dealing with a new city, new school and new friends, was a task I could never have been prepared for. Trying to heal physically and emotionally while integrating into a new career and lifestyle was nothing less than traumatic.

OH but wait…there’s more! 

A year following the move, I was informed I needed another surgery to remove pre-cancerous cells from my body. Really?! Hearing the words as the specialist said them sent me over the edge. I was so devastated I sobbed and sobbed and got lost as a result. What would have been a half hour drive normally, took an hour and a half for me to find my way.

Last year I experienced job lossdue to corporate restructuring, followed a month later by devastating news that has rocked our little family to its very core. When I received the email that I had been nominated for the FIERCE Awards Phenomenal Female, I was at one of the lowest moments of my life. I was so fed up with being told how strong I was, that I should write a book, yadayadayada. I just wanted things to get better! My kids deserve some happiness in their young lives, don’t they?

The nomination was enough to give me hope and buoy my spirits, but being honoured with winning triggered a new determination and resolve to live up to the word ‘phenomenal’. I want to be an example to others facing difficult circumstances that life IS worth living and that hope lives within the depths of each one of us.

Shandra lives in Calgary with her 3 children and their cat named Lucy, living out her dream of becoming a leadership coach, speaker and trainer. Her book will get written. Eventually.




Return to You Are FIERCE

Love Yourself First: Seven Ways to Have the Best Valentine's Day Ever (Heart-Shaped Candy Boxes Not Required!)

Feeling cynical or depressed about Valentine's Day? Don't, says intuitive psychologist Susan Apollon. Instead, use it as an opportunity to explore the meaning of pure love...and create a life of peace and joy. 

Valentine's Day is fast approaching and if you listen closely you'll hear people heave a collective sigh of resignation (from the couples who must run out and buy obligatory gifts) and gloom (from the singles who feel like hiding sulkily under the covers). Yes, many people dread this seemingly benign holiday more than a trip to the dentist. But intuitive psychologist Susan Apollon says not to look at Valentine's Day as an occasion for enforced "romance" or mourning for your dormant love life. Instead, think of it as a day to celebrate the existence of love itself--pure, authentic, unconditional love, and all the rich rewards it brings. 

"Love really isn't about hearts and flowers and grand romantic gestures," says Apollon, author of Touched by the Extraordinary, Book Two: Healing Stories of Love, Loss & Hope.

"It isn't about who got who the best gift, or who has a partner and who doesn't. Love is a way of living. And Valentine's Day can be more than a reminder that someone loves you; it can serve as an affirmation that you are totally lovable, loving, adored, and special all year long."

 In other words, let Valentine's Day be a day in which you focus wholeheartedly on your ability to give and receive love. You don't need to have a spouse or romantic partner in order to do this. You can love your coworkers, your neighbors, your pets, the clerk at the grocery store--anyone and everyone--but especially yourself.

 How to rev up your love quotient this Valentine's Day

Commit to Unconditional Love: To You, From You. It may be a cliché but it is very, very true: until you love yourself you can't fully love another person. And too many of us beat ourselves up for not being thin enough or pretty enough or smart enough--and worse, we may even use the fact that we are romantically unattached (or in a bad relationship) to validate that low opinion. This is tragic, says Apollon. Whether single or involved, it is vital that you truly understand the value of loving yourself unconditionally. Self-love is the key to achieving all other love and finding happiness in its many forms.

"There must be no conditions for loving yourself," insists Apollon. "Being lovable and capable of loving is never about having a great body, a high-profile job, or tons of money. There are no strings attached to your adoring your whole self: body, mind, and spirit. There is only the need for you to view yourself as the exquisite miracle you really are. Allow Valentine's Day to be a reminder of who you are. Love yourself first, because you are your most significant other."

Get High This Valentine's Day: High Energy, That is! If you're wondering what love really is, Apollon says, it's energy. Everything is energy, in fact, and love is one of the highest energies. So, when you choose to become your own priority and love yourself unconditionally, you will vibrate at an astoundingly higher energy level. The result is that you feel wonderful and life becomes a delicious adventure. Your love for yourself enables you to walk with your head held high and your heart full and healed. You'll feel grounded, centered, and stable--and these good feelings will affect those around you. If you're wondering how to reach that high level of energy, Apollon says the answer is simple: do things that feel good. You might buy yourself a beautiful bouquet of flowers, for instance, or a nice pair of silk pajamas, or a day at the spa. Or place notes all around you that remind you of how loving and special you are...that you are a Beautiful Soul...and that you are loved. It may seem silly, but it works.

Breathe in Love: Not Just on Valentine's Day, But Every Day. Apollon suggests that each morning and evening you take a few moments to focus on your breathing in and out, long, deep, relaxing breaths, with the intention of helping you shift to a higher energy. Visualize yourself breathing in loving energy from the Universe. See this flowing into every cell and feel the warm, loving impact.

"Picture the Universe, your own Soul, Higher Wisdom, God, or your angels being present for you and feel their embrace--the embrace of love," she says. "Sit with this and really feel the amazing warm, healing energy of this embrace. It is so powerful!"

Affirm and Visualize Love. Imagine that you are a half-inflated balloon. Most of us live our day-to-day lives in this love-less state of under-inflation. Now envision your soul filling up with love. Affirm your worth several times a day by stating silently or out loud: I am love, I am lovable, and I am loving. Your love for yourself enables you to feel the powerful energy of love even in your cells. As you make your affirmations, visualize these feelings of love permeating every cell of your being. You are love, and you deserve the joy of giving and receiving pure love.

Incorporate Your Own Strengths into Your Affirmations. You are a unique creation worthy of universal energy and love. Everyone is blessed with different attributes and a great way to fill yourself up with self-love is to remind yourself of all your fabulous qualities. Practice affirmations about your own uniqueness that makes you worth loving. A few examples are: I am passionate, I am a great mother, I am ready to be loved, I give fabulous advice, and I am full of creativity.

Face, Embrace, and Replace Grief...and Practice Forgiveness. The energy of love does not mesh comfortably with the energy of anger, pain, guilt, and unresolved conflicts or issues, says Apollon. Therefore, you must release any old grievances in order to vibrate on a higher energetic plane. Valentine's Day should bring for you a reminder that we are all here for love and that love begins first with forgiveness of yourself and others who have in the past treated you poorly. Face your negative energy and acknowledge it. When you are ready, replace old grief with love and just savor the vast difference this shift makes in your life! If you need a mantra to help you release the pain that holds you down, Apollon suggests you say to yourself: I love myself enough to let you go now. I choose to detach from carrying you around with me, weighing me down and disabling me from moving on and having a good life. I forgive you and I forgive me. I am truly sorry but I must let you go. I surrender you to the Universe. I choose to be free of any attachments that keep me from experiencing the peace and joy to which I am entitled.

Release Your Attachment to Your Vision of Prince or Princess Charming. If you spend Valentine's Day hoping for an engagement ring, seething with resentment that your partner forgot that you prefer dark chocolate over milk chocolate, or daydreaming about that knight in shining armor who will sweep you away from your dreary life, you're missing the whole point of love. Your attachments to an ideal only set you up for a fall when perfection fails to materialize. Remember, says Apollon, that real love (for yourself or others) doesn't come with conditions. When you love unconditionally, you don't need anything in return. "We feel happy, we are lighter and unburdened when we release our expectations," asserts Apollon. "Don't spend Valentine's Day hoping for roses, romance, or a note from a secret admirer. And married folks and those with partners need to realize that the person you love is not responsible for meeting your checklist of expectations for happiness. Instead put your focus on sending loving energy to everyone you know this day and every day. It will clear the metaphorical haze around you, so to speak and for the first time you will see and feel all the love you need."

"Too many people use the fairy tale illusion of living happily-ever-after to define their inner worth," says Apollon. "Know that true happiness can't come to you in its many forms until you are able to accept it. Love is all around you and will manifest when you finally learn to let it permeate your spirit, by loving yourself and exuding love to everyone you know. Remember that love is what connects and sustains us all and gives life meaning. Living lovingly feels so good, and when you make the choice to do this, each day can feel like the best Valentine's Day ever."

About the Author:
As a psychologist and an author, Susan Apollon empowers and heals the body, mind, and soul; as an educator, she informs; as a speaker, she inspires and touches the heart.  

For more than twenty-five years, Susan has been in private practice in Yardley, PA, evaluating and counseling adults, families, and children who are dealing with difficult life situations similar to what she has personally experienced, researched, and written about, including cancer, other health issues, trauma, and grief.

She is an avid researcher of Mind, Consciousness, Intuition, Energy, Prayer, and Healing and brings this expertise to her three published books—Touched by the Extraordinary, Book Two: Healing Stories of Love, Loss & Hope; Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons, and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul; and Intuition Is Easy and Fun: The Art and Practice of Developing Your Natural-Born Gift of Intuition (co-authored with Yanni Maniates)—as well as to her audio books, online course, CDs, and MP3s. Susan’s work is scientifically based and enhanced by her ability to trust her own intuitive wisdom.