Stronger Than Yesterday...

By Sammie Love

One year ago I wrote an article called Embracing My Scars for MOM Magazine. That article was the first time that I had ever told the general public that I was brutally raped when I was nineteen years old and how I have struggled with Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome My life has changed so much in the past year since I
wrote that article.

I have learned that I am stronger than yesterday. I am stronger when I am open to receive the love of others. I am stronger when I share what is on my heart with others instead of shutting them out. I am stronger when I rely on the word of the LORD and not my own understanding.

Embracing My Scars was just the beginning of me getting stronger. What I wrote in that article was I was a cancer and rape survivor but I hadn't really looked at so many other underlying issues that I had like: lack of trust, a hard heart and a body that was finally cracking under the weight of deep seeded depression and anxiety. My body was internally attacking me and it manifested itself through anxiety, weight gain and withdrawal.

My relationship with food and supressing feelings of inferiority after being raped made me withdraw from friends and potential friends. I always felt like I was never good enough to be their friend. I felt damaged and my heart felt broken.

I had a few special friends that I clung to this year and I opened up to them. One friend introduced me to another friend and another friend introduced me to more friends. I remember when one of them told me, "Life is too short to be unhappy! You are beautiful, intelligent and you are my sister and you don't have to settle for less than you deserve."

I've clung to those words. Those words held me when my job was downsized, when I had a car accident and my car was totaled, and when my anxiety wouldn't allow me to get back into a car. Those words gave me hope when I accepted a new job only to be let go because the license for the school hadn't been issued. I grabbed those words when I developed gallstones and kidney stones and had to have the kidney stones surgically removed. Those words helped me to build my confidence and to establish boundaries and set personal goals for happiness. Those words became my mantra when I hit rock bottom and I surrendered to GOD to help lift me back up!

As I reflect on this year I am so amazed at how GOD has worked in and through me:

•  I have opened up with friends and family about what happened to me and I have really expanded my writing to be more reflective of the journey I am on to heal all of the fragments of my life.
• I have mended fences with people I shut out of my life after I was raped and I explained that I was too embarrassed to tell them what I was going through because I didn't understand it myself.
• I have written a series of articles that go into detail about my recent health scare (suspected uterine cancer) and the positive outcome.
• I studied the bible with a group of sisters and I have joined a bible based Church that I LOVE!
• I began to look at my relationship with food and my body image. I sought help from my doctor's and I began a "walking discovery journey" and I have recently lost 75 pounds.
• And the final piece of the puzzle is I've decided to participate in the San Francisco Women Against Rape's 7th Annual Walk Against Rape on Saturday, April 28, 2012.

I am lighter and truly walking in the light. There are still dark days but with GOD's grace, the love of my family, my "Sista from Anotha Mista", Church and friends I have risen from tragedy to triumph and I truly know that which does not kill me will make me stronger. As I said before, I am stronger than yesterday and "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

Be Brave, Be Well
*Sammie Love


Sammie Love is a wife, mother of three children, and an Early Childhood Educator and Professional Development Trainer for Teacher's entering the field by day. She is a sexy erotica writing super heroine unleashing passion on paper by night. She is an active blogger and has recently started writing a book about parenting children with learning differences.


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How do you say what you do? (Give your self credit.)

Ugh. I hate this question. I hate it so much that when someone asks me what I do, I physically feel myself cringe and automatically force a fake smile and start tripping over my words.

"Oh, you know, I.. uh, well. I have this community of women and there are events and... the FIERCE awards are the signature event..."

Yeh it's always awkward.

I don't know what has happened to me, seriously. I used to BE the publisher of MOM Magazine. I used to know who I was and what I did when I had something tangible to show people. Not only have the past 2 1/2 years stolen chunks of my memory but it's damn well stolen my identity, too. Well. I gave it up, stepped away from, and let go of it; No blame game, I own all of the mistakes and choices I made.

Anyway, yeh, no print mag means no identity for me; I defined who I was by what I did. 

Now, having this mish mash of elements that make up FIERCE with nothing really tangible (yet... I need one more month before I launch what will be the flagship product for FIERCE), it has seriously spun me into one fuck of an identity crisis.

Ahem. So, Danielle, thank you for forcing me to figure this shit out at 8 a.m.

Before I go any further with my day, I will figure out an introduction on who I am, what I do and how to let people know without coming across as a rambling dumbass who lacks confidence and direction.

I am FIERCE. I have created a community where women empower, inspire and engage each other in a no-catty bullshit environment. We host events throughout the year culminating in our signature event, the FIERCE Women of the Year awards. Our blogs keep our readers connected to events in Edmonton, and introduce them to FIERCE women all over the world. Best of all, we affirm through our brand that "You Are FIERCE!"

Dammit all to hell I'm a better writer than I am a speaker. OK, well that's a start right?? RIGHT!?!? BAH! BAH! BAH! BAH!!

Enough about me, how do YOU introduce yourself??

 
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Searching for this...

 
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6 Things I Learned in 6 Years

By Ashley Fraser-Sexmith, founder of Kula Klips
Kula Klips is celebrating it's 6th anniversary and Ashley was kind enough to share 6 entrepreneurial lessons she has learned over the past 6 years. 




1. Being an entrepreneur is tough! I didn't realize how many hours had to be put into running your own company if you want to be successful at it.

2. Don't assume you can work with the kids. I started this business way before I had children but I see many entrepreneurs start up because they think hey I can work from home and take care of my kids at the same time. WRONG! You may be able to do this some of the time but I can tell you first hand children take up a lot of time. Yes there are days I get things done with the kiddo's but I made the decision to hire childcare 2x a week and I have an assistant that helps me get it all done (no smoke and mirrors here!)

3. There's A LOT of bills that have to be paid! Sure anyone can have a great idea and start a business but the amount of bills that go into it is crazy! If you do decide to become an entrepreneur I suggest you meet with a business advisor or do your research first. There's nothing worse than not being prepared!

4. Don't sweat the small stuff. You've heard it before, I am reiterating
it, there are so many little things that can happen and if you get yourself worked up or stressed out over it all you'll never be able to handle it.

5. Make friends in the industry. It's amazing what I have learned from the fabulous people I've met over the years in the children's industry. Whether it be at a trade show or even on Twitter, its great to feel connected to others going through the same things as you.

6. Find a balance. This is so important when you have a family! Remember the kids are only little once! I have time set aside for work and time set aside for family, this logic has made me a better wife and mother because I am there when my family needs me and they understand when it's time for me to work. Don't forget about yourself to because everyone needs a little time to do things for themselves.

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Twitter Cliques and Other Social Media Faux Pas

Twitter is a useful little tool but let me tell you one of my absolute pet peeves when it comes to Social Media: I hate cliquey Twits.

I do. I despise them as much as I despise cliquey bitches in real life.

Let me explain.

Social Media is all about engaging, connecting and conversations. Sure, we all are pimpin' something and have to run a business so we are selling ourselves or a service BUT that doesn't mean you have to set yourself apart from the Twitterverse by ignoring questions, comments, complaints or other Tweets.

Yes, we have all dealt with the Trolls or seen the drama on Twitter but you can still choose to engage with the people who want to converse with you. It's easy to become friends with a small group of Twits or develop online relationships that are stronger with some people that others but it doesn't mean you should blatantly ignore your audience.

On the flip side of that, Twitter IS a live chat so you may not always see the tweets that come your way (unless you're like me and have your Blackberry glued to your hand) but that doesn't mean you can't monitor your twitter stream. And yes, I get that you may be bombarded with tweets but making an effort to converse  is a lot better than completely ignoring people.

Let me give you a couple of positive examples because I see no point in posting negative examples: 
I love Perez Hilton. I know, I know, he's not for everyone but I see beyond his online persona that he has created and admire the little empire he has established. Every once in a while, I'll tweet at him and ask a a celeb-related question not really expecting a response (the guy has 4,800,000 followers and he only follows 485 people) but one day, he replied to my tweet! It was the coolest moment of my day knowing that someone with THAT many followers saw my inconsequential tweet and took a moment to reply.

This one time at bandcamp... wait, wrong story. This one time, I was lamenting about that fact that the FIERCE Christmas party was the SAME night as director Kevin Smith and his bestie Jason Mewes were going to be in town, and GUESS WHAT!?

Jay responded to my tweets!

I just about died. I'm not even kidding. OK well died is the wrong word... cancelled my event is the phrase I was looking for. Anyway, the point is, he has 185,000 followers (but only follows 264 people, tsk tsk) but he STILL took a minute to respond to me. 

Are you the non-celeb Twit who has 15,867 followers but only follows 24 people?

That annoys me too. What makes you think your message is SO important that you are only here to talk and not listen? Is your message more important than someone else's message? Are you the Dalai Lama? Uhm. No. I'm guessing you're not.

This mentality reminds me of the movie Titanic, specifically Rose's pretentious mother who asked if the lifeboats would be seated according to class. Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me, Mrs. Dewitt Bukatur, but I won't  be taking my 3rd Class ass back to Steerage. In fact, you can kiss it. Snap, snap and OH SNAP!

I understand that celebrities have millions of followers and it would be nearly impossible to manage an account by following all of your fans BUT if you're not Lady Gaga or Oprah, chances are you don't have millions of followers.

I'm not saying follow every person who follows you because clearly that would be hypocritical on my part since I don't follow everyone who follows me however I do follow people who intrigue me or engage me in conversations.

It's SOCIAL media, people. SOCIALIZE. Mingle. Chat. Make small talk. Develop relationships. ENGAGE!

Ahem.

If you need me I'll be drinking coffee and awaiting your comments/tweets.

 
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Danielle's Editing Assignment

Editing assignment: get rid of the clothes you don’t LOVE this week. And while you’re clearing them out, with each item, name and release a negative opinion about yourself. ~ Danielle LaPorte

Theoretically, Spring is here (if you're  in Alberta, you know why I'm saying theoretically; all this snow makes it feel like we should be decorating for the damn holidays) and it's a great time to clean out your closet.

Purge the negativity and improve 

your self-esteem. Win-win!

We all have that bitchy little voice in our head that reminds us of how we can't succeed, don't deserve happiness, need to lose weight, aren't pretty enough, and so much other bullshit. 

If you can detox your life starting with this one simple exercise, it will be a small step to a healthier you.

Will you try this? Let me know if you do and how you felt before, during and after.

P.S. For more Danielle awesomeness, go to her website. She is FIERCE!

 
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3 Titanic Life Lessons

I have this weird thing about relating movies and music to moments in my life; Stand By Me was the movie that defined by childhood, and Titanic is the movie that defined my early 20s.

When I was 21, I was wandering up another life path to a dead end. I knew what I wanted in life but I was struggling to figure out how to get there. The breaking point for me was when my boyfriend died and I had no way to make it to Toronto for his funeral. I felt so completely helpless and shattered, totally unsure of how to glue together the pieces of my life to make something of myself without support or guidance from anyone. The following year I was able to get to Toronto to meet his mom and put some closure on that chapter of my life. Upon returning from my trip, I got the phone call that I was hired to be on the sports desk at the Daily Courier in Kelowna. It was like the next chapter of my life was written for me and all I had to do was live it.

That was the year Titanic came into the theatres. I went to see the movie by myself and I remember watching Rose's struggle with her own path in life and relating to her character. At the end when Jack makes her promise to live and to never let go of that promise before he dies, I saw myself in that moment with my own boyfriend who died. I knew I wasn't completely over his death but that he would want me to go on and live a full life.

Just like in the movie, he saved me too. 

I envisioned myself as the future Rose who went on to live the life she truly wanted, never letting go of her promise and keeping the memory of Jack to herself all those years.

And just like Rose, I don't even have a picture of him.

I took so many messages from that movie that I could write blog after blog about it but I won't bore you with all the reasons I love Titanic.

I will, however, give you three life lessons to implement into your FIERCE life.

1. Be the Molly Brown of your circle

Margaret Brown was a no-bullshit babe who didn't care if the "old money" club were offended by her so-called "vulgar" ways. She played the game and played it well, never once compromising her values or changing the core of who she was.

If you find yourself in a networking situation or a social situation where the cliquey, gossipy bunch are clucking away about inconsequential bullshit, play the game but play it on your terms. Don't let anyone make you feel like you're not worthy to be a part of their "crowd" but don't feel obligated to stay, either. Remember: negative or snarky remarks are a reflection of the person spewing the venom. Do your best to maintain some level of dignity but don't be afraid to deflect it with intelligence, wit and a larger-than-life persona.

2. Don't be afraid to let go
The path that you're on doesn't mean it's the path you have to take. We make choices in our lives every day and if you keep making the same choice, expect the same results. If you want to lose weight, quit eating junk. If you want to be happier, do things that truly make you happy. If you want a better job, DO things to improve your resume. Let go of the stuff that weighs you down and keeps you from living the life you want, not the life you think you're "suppose" to live.

3. Play to the end
The nobility of Wallace Hartley and his band playing until the Titanic sank, is one of my absolute favourite stories to come out of the Titanic. They did what they loved right up until the last moments. Do that! Why do the things that make you miserable when we all know that life is too damn short! Housework doesn't count in this case, either, since we all have to do it but other than that PLAY! Have fun! Do the things that make the very essence of your soul SHINE! Do something every day to make yourself smile and do it up until the day you die.



 
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